Existing in Pandemic-Mode

It’s weird to maintain a sense of normalcy when it feels like the whole world is falling apart, especially as a creative.

My school has moved entirely online, and my state is very much urging people to remain in their homes. If we’re talking strictly about things needed for survival, I’m good-- Food, a human amount of toilet paper, medicine, etc. Myself and everyone I live with are healthy and in a decent position financially, and my main worry is towards my parents and younger siblings living a state away who seem more inclined to think they’re invincible.  (Hi guys! Please stay inside, PLEASE!!). However, despite being in a secure place, I feel like this has been a long month of me losing my footing.

The act of making stuff has been almost non-existent, and when it is happening, it’s laborious and not something that feels at all like something that should be a natural action. Even doodling. Doodling! And I’m plagued with a need to be productive, almost like my brain is constantly screaming: “Yes, you’re in the house, but there are people out there doing REAL WORK, and you should also be doing REAL WORK. And no, I won’t tell you what ‘real work’ actually entails.” I’m not just trapped in my apartment, I’m trapped in my head.

I hope that as the reality of this sinks in, being able to feel normal again comes with it. Until then, I’m trying to stick to a routine that only occasionally involves a 3 PM glass of wine. 

Stay healthy and safe!